When I had to restore my factory settings on my laptop a month or so ago, I lost a lot of music. I need to be better about backing it up. I realized I was missing a PJ Harvey album that I used to love. It fit how I was feeling earlier this week.
When I went to Manhattan on Monday to visit my friend and her baby, I really felt homesick. I missed Brooklyn. I missed being close to my friends. I also missed the excitement of the city (not that twins aren't exciting ... you know what I mean). I was driving down the FDR drive and passed under the hospital where the babies were born. I passed my old apartment on 34th street. I saw the Brooklyn Bridge running over the East River.
I pulled onto my friend's street and my mom helped me get the babies out of the car. She had a dentist appointment so she helped me get all my stuff up to my friend's place and then rode back with me to CT as well. I couldn't have done it without her. I had 4 bags of things (diaper bag, toys, handbag, door jumper, etc.) so I could feed the babies, care for them and keep them entertained. We unloaded everyone and since they were sleeping I put them in the Snap N Go instead of the side-by-side. As I left my mom I went to park in the garage right by her house and the parking attendant waved me away.
Suddenly I was cursing out the city I was missing 5 minutes earlier. This is exactly what I didn't miss about the city. I drive a Sequoia. It's basically a bus. It's the biggest thing you can get without getting a Suburban or a minivan. I had to drive everywhere when I was pregnant as I wasn't allowed to walk up stairs and the F train stop by our house in Brooklyn was under sea level so there were 4 flights of stairs and a long ramp to get down. There was another train I could take but the escalator hardly ever worked so I could have been stranded.
Anyway, long story short I had to park 3 blocks away, got charged $10 extra for having a big ass car, and then had to walk super fast in the freezing cold & wind with all my bags of baby stuff.
I know that being in CT is the best thing for the girls and for me. I was trying to imagine what it would have been like if we had stayed in Brooklyn, although it wasn't a possibility. First of all, we just didn't have the space. We had one bedroom and a home office, which would have been the babies' room. The "home office" didn't have any windows. One time a couple we are close friends with stayed in there overnight and she walked into the closet trying to get into the hallway to the bathroom. She suddenly realized she was stuck and had to yell to her husband to come find her (totally funny now, but probably scary and confusing at the time). Imagine trying to go put a pacifier back inside a tiny mouth in the pitch black? I stayed in their once when we had first gotten a new kitten and I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. So yeah, probably not the best choice for twins.
And how would I have gotten around? The only way out without a car was the F train and we have already discussed the issues there. Our "charming" streets were all cobblestone. The babies would have hated the bumps. My double snap n go stroller would have hated the bumps! I would have run out of things to do really fast and would have been stuck in our apartment 24/7.
I think it's just the winter blahs. I know when the flowers start to poke through and the green begins to come around that I will be so happy to walk outside with the babies and enjoy the fresh air without having to sidestep dog poop and garbage bags.